... heard an excellent joke while packing up the live truck. Okay, so it was a few nights ago -- this is the first chance I've had to share it.
John walked into his favorite bar with a black backpack. He sauntered down to his regular stool, sat down, and laid the backpack onto the bar. The bartender walked over and asked, "What's with the backpack? You're not gonna keep that on the bar, are ya?"
John held up a finger, gesturing for silence. He opened the bag and pulled out a man no taller than one foot. The bartender stared in amazement, "What the hell?"
John held up his finger again. He reached into the bag a second time. This time, he pulled out a tiny grand piano. He sat the piano next to the foot-tall man. The little man sat down at the piano and began pounding away at the ivories. The melody of "The Entertainer" began to fill the tiny bar.
"What the crap? That's incredible!" the bartender exclaimed. "How did you--"
John reached into the bag once more, pulling out a golden lamp. He handed it to the bartender, saying, "Go ahead. Give it a rub."
The bartender glanced at the lamp, glanced at John, and back to the lamp again. He grabbed it, rubbed it, and -- sure enough -- out popped a genie. This genie, however, looked rushed and weary.
"Alright, pal. Listen -- same with this guy behind me," he gestured to John, "Too many lamps, not enough genies. I'm ridiculously busy. You only get one wish. None of this 'three wishes' crap -- just one."
"That's easy!" the bartender excitedly claimed, "I want a million bucks!"
"Yeah, yeah, sure. Fine." The genie snapped his fingers, and disappeared in a whisp of blue smoke.
A duck entered the bar moments later. The duck quacked.
Another duck entered the bar immediately following. The next duck quacked. So did the next. And the one after that.
Fifteen ducks later, the bartender tried to figure out what the hell was going on. "HEY! I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"
John looked up and replied, "Yeah -- and do you think I asked for a twelve-inch pianist?"