As far as interesting story content goes I think you've included stories far more eye-popping than this.
You guys took over a minute and a half to tell a story that should have just been a VOSOT in my opinion. I say this because a lot of your video wasn't that compelling. Aside from the ground-breaking and fire dept. b-roll, there was a lot of projection screen wallpaper video, which if you have to use it, works better in a VOSOT.
10 seconds in there was a jump cut. You can see the first SOT in the shot just before her bite as she's sitting next to the mayor.
Was not crazy about the white flashes used between SOTS here. Used elsewhere I think they work, but for whatever reason I just don't think they did in this story.
I see what your saying and I just wanted to do something new with what you call a vo/sot story that had to be turned into a pkg. I think that if you can show a boring story and make something compelling out of it, it is great, but if it doesn't work you might as well "throw some dirt on it and brush it off." Thanks for the comments, I didn't notice the jump cut before.
Makes me think of my 1st job in a small market. I remember shooting a VO of a dirt road that was being closed. My favorite was going live at a new 'Christmas' store to advertise the establishment.
Journalism reflects the area. If a simple dirt road closure makes a significant difference in the lives of the community, then the issue becomes relevant to it's local viewers. Remember, news markets come in all shapes and sizes
It should have been a VOSOT, or a NATVO. The whiteflashes didn't make any sense at all. Some shots were way too quick, a couple were under a second. The shots didn't build into anything. And the last sots with the fire chief, didn't look very good at all. He had no background to him at all, he blended in with the white clouds.
Thats cool. Thanks alot for the comments everyone. I just wanted to see what people would say about a really generic story that had to be turned into a pkg. The white flashes were an idea from my reporter trying to make the story better. I thought this might be a good topic for how to make these things better. For the most part I got what I wanted to know and hopefully you did took. Thanks again everyone.
For me the editing pace didn't even come close to the writing or the reporters pace. It felt awkward and forced. As a viewer I would like to have seen the problems with the old building. Was it damaged, leaking falling down? If it was overcrowded lets see shots of police detectives working in cramped quarters. Or firefighters without the space they need for training and storage. The story wasn't the ground breaking but why the building was being built. To me, as was said before, this was a vo/sot. But could have led into a nice pkg about the need for a bigger public safety building.
And why did you put this up for critique? White flashes are a lazy way to try to get out of jump cuts. Frame your people up different so you don't have to use white flashes. Or, put video covering the end of one bite and the beginning of another. We've all been in small markets and made VOSOTS into packages. This was an average package. Could have done something with the stand-up. Talk to the reporter about the stand-up and come up with a way to not stand in one place. Do a two or three part stand-up in different locations talking about the building they are moving from and moving to the new location. Use the stand-up as a bridge to get you to the new location. Maybe start the package at the ground breaking, but do the story on the old building and why they are moving. Talk to the people working in the old building. We all know everything will be better in the new building line!!! (That gets used all the time when t.v. stations move to a new building) Try to NOT do a story on the obvious story line. Think about how to do a story within the story. If you know what I mean. Seems like you're feeling attacked with the critiques. Don't feel bad about what is said. Learn from it. I've been critiqued for years and it's helped move my career. I've gone from a 200 market to a top 10. Hang in there.