A simple thumbs up or thumbs down doesn't help you, so I'm gonna go in depth. These are intended to be constructive critiques for your benefit. I am by no means looking down at you or insulting your abilities. We all have room to grow. Get ready, this is a long one!
**Do you also edit these stories? If so, I think you need to get a better feel for finding the pace of a story and matching that to how you edit and when you make cuts. Pacing is always an important element in editing, but it's especially important if music is a central part of the story. For example, you open the first story with an up beat jam that really moves, yet the opening shot is a 10 second pan that just kinda lingers and doesn't find any defined ending point. Whether or not you have a musical background you should learn to count along to the music, get a feel for its tempo, and let that drive when you make cuts. I would expect a slow 10 second pan to open a symphony ochestra, not a rock show. Kudos for trying to use camera movements and manual zooms to add energy to the piece, but those won't succeed unless you're also effectively using cuts and nat sound to convey the energy of the music.
**I think you also need to get a feel for how nat sound can help drive your story forward. A perfect example, at 0:16 you linger way too long on the shot starts on the guys face and zooms out. After the reporter says "national" you should have IMMEDIATELY cut to video/sound of the cheering crowd from America's got talent. This would have been a perfect transition to what the reporter was talking about. It also would have kept the pace moving by adding a relevant sound break between the reporter's track, rather than having that dead silent space. Even silence needs justification, and in this case there was none.
**Some of your nat breaks need to be more gradual. From 0:32 to 0:34 the music abruptly pops in and out. Use an audio dissolve or keyframes to gradually increase the volume of the music and then gradually fade it out. Also, be more selective with what nats you use. Make sure your audio corresponds well to your video. If you use a shot that's a closeup of the bass drum, I want to hear a part of the song that features that instrument; give me that thump thump thump. This nat break didn't offer that, instead it sounds like a mish mosh of noise. A closeup of the snare drum probably would have been more effective since loud snare accents stand out more.
**Think about varying the location for your interviews. Isolate what you're showing in the background to correspond to what defines each band member separately. Don't interview every member in front of the drums; only have the drums behind the drummer. Since you had lights, you could have gone into any other room, killed the rooms lights, and used your light kit to draw specific attention to one instrument in particular. You had the tools to feature each member and their instrument in a different way, so why not do it?
**Raise the lights to a higher angle so that shadows are cast down to the floor rather than directly behind your subject. You can also reduce shadows by diffusing and softening the light. Trying putting diffusion paper in front of the lights or if nothing else use an umbrella. I emphasize using an umbrella as a last resort because in order to get good at lighting you must learn to control where you do and do not want light to be. This is nearly impossible with an umbrella as it spills light everywhere. If available, a soft box with egg crate is ideal. It creates a perfect soft light that is easy to control.
**Think more about sequencing when you shoot. For example, get a wide shot of the guitarist, then cut into the action with a medium shot of his hands on the guitar, then get a closeup of his fingers on the frets. Or get a wide shot of the drummer, a medium of his hands playing, a closeup of his eyes concentrating or sweat pouring down his brow, then a closeup of a cymbal crash. Shoot with sequencing in mind and when you edit, organize your video so that it fits together and makes sense. Don't just cut randomly.
**Definitely cut the raw. Your best work should be the final product, where your video comes together to complete a whole that's bigger than the sum of its parts. You want to convey that you can tell a great story with video, not that you can put a red gelled light on a keyboard. Eventually I'm sure you'll be a part of a full story where you can employ this concept. Until then, I say let it go.
**I realize that the live standups deal with important topics like John McCain and VT, but I would expect to see those on a reporter tape rather than a photographer's. I don't think they highlight any particular noteworthy skills that you have. If you just put that you have ENG truck experience on your resume, I think that conveys what you're going for here.
Overall you've got a great start! Stick to your tripod more, work on pacing in your editing, work in nat sound, keep that creative flair, and continue to develop your tape with more and better stories. If you have any questions, or if I wasn't clear about something, feel free to ask.
