For your first nat pack it wasn't awful, although it wasn't great either. First and foremost getting one sound bite and making it a compelling nat sound package out of it is tough. The lady was alright but from a storytelling standpoint you didn't tell me anything. Other that this was her fifth or six year coming and why she likes to come. There where a lot of unanwsered questions in this story. You had a fair being, ok middle and bad ending from a stroytelling standpoint.
On the technical side of shooting, good white balance good nat sound of the band playing. You understand Wide, Medium but you lacked good tight shots. A majority of the shots where steady and nicely composed. Although your attempts of getting off the pod to get some low angle stuff was shaky.
The editing was good in spots bad in others. Your pacing was off in the edit compared to the action/reaction b-roll that you shot. I don't know if WTIC is edit non-linear or not, cutting to the beat shouldn't be a issue if you are edit non-linear. You need to practice your pacing both in telling the story and in the edit. Audio wise you worked it in and out although it fading out a little to quickly off the top to get to that first sound bite.
Now that you've heard the good and bad, it's time to prepare for the next time you shoot a nat pack. I generally try to shoot nat packs that are visual and has a good story to be told. I'll interview three or more people to make a decent nat sound package. That helps too build a story within the story. I'll gather as much nat sound or nat sots as I can to be used for transitons and pacing. As well shoot enough for the package only to stop and go back and get those ten gravy shots. Be it the "God Wide Shot" some more tight shots or more reaction shots. That way I won't have to use the same five shots twice like you had too.
So the next time you shoot a nat sound package here should be your checklist.
1. Talk to more people (For the Jazz Story I'd tried to get a musician, vendor, ect..)
2. Devolp a story within the story (Begin,Middle and End)
3. Shoot more b-roll and tight shots (Have enough too b-roll the whole story, only to stop and get ten more gravy shots)
4. Pacing (Both in the edit and the telling of the story)
Bottom line jazz story is your starting point. Now it's time to practice everytime you get a chance.
For practice makes perfect. Good Luck on your next shoot.