Stripes down the pants.

Ala0987 said:
Shot and edited a 'sports fashion show' semi-nat-pak (Yeah...you'll see why). Preceding my story the anchor had his own pkg which he edited from my stuff.

Really annoying the way it aired:

New to posting, long time lurker. Tear it up.
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OK - I'll 'fess up. I'm a CSUF alumni (Class of 72). So much for transparency. One of the primary goals we have as news photogs is to convey information - more so than to entertain. I can see why you were annoyed at the preceding anchor pkg...but the truth is I got more information out of his piece than I did yours. Not that yours wasn't creative...but the pacing and editing got in the way of the information. Maybe Latin Lens will hop in here and rescue me...it's late and I'm having difficulty nailing down exactly how to phase this.
 
Okay...this is gonna be harsh. But first off this is NOT a natpkg, nor is it a pkg....its a music video with little to no information content...why? Because yes, the story preceeding your "nat"pkg totally stole your thunder. Cyndy is right....I got more info from the anchor piece...only to be repeated in yours. My question is....why? Why did you even try to attempt this? There is/was not much thought put into this. The reality of doing a natpkg is that nats from the scene are gonna be the driving force behind a/the story. So it goes back to my original question about how or why is this a natpkg when there is/wasn't not a single nat used to drive the piece? I hate to be harsh because maybe you're starting out but you need to understand why this doesn't qualify for a natpkg before I get into other stuff. I always say this to young guys who attempt this type of storytell....natpkgs are hard to do....good natpkgs are even harder. You just have to have a conscience effort from the get-go that you are going to approach a story for this particular end goal. A lot of guys try after the fact and believe me...they come out looking very similar to this...not much content, wrong approach, and I am left with the feeling of what's the point? Thats the question you need to ask yourself after a natpkg....what's the point? Do the nats and interviews I conducted convey info and tell a story? Yes or no? It's that simple. But hard to accomplish because there is actually work involved to find the elements....which are in no particular order....1) a good legit story to tell 2) interesting characters to center around 3) nats or noisy activity to help move the story along from A to Z and 4) a photog with skill to creatively carry the story along with their shooting and nat gathering skill. These are very important elements. Before even attempting I ask myself can I find these things? I think the actually natpkg that could have been told was the media day surrounding the uniform unveil...saw at the very end the players getting their pics taking...there's the noise and interaction you want and need to tell a natpkg story...guys getting direction from the photo guy....giving eachother a hard time waiting...or making fun of the poses or faces they make...that's the action that gives the players character....and you start with the first guy and end with the photo guy packing up...thats the story...there's a natpkg there. As you gain experience you'll get a better feel about not only how to approach a natpkg but also what makes for a good natpkg. I will give credit for posting and letting us critique it because its a humbling experience but you need to understand the central concept of why and how this failed to apply the lessons learned on your next shoot of this nature.
 
Why?

Simply for fun. To make sports a little different. Because it seemed just as silly as the concept of a football fashion show.

You are right, however. Not much information to give. Not much thought put into it. Not worthy of the natpkg title.

I think Cyndy also hit the nail on the head. I was going for entertainment not so much to convey information. I suppose I felt it more acceptable in a sports segment, because sports (in general) is entertainment.

Thanks so much guys.
 
Am I missing something?

Ala0987 said:
Why?

Simply for fun. To make sports a little different. Because it seemed just as silly as the concept of a football fashion show.

You are right, however. Not much information to give. Not much thought put into it. Not worthy of the natpkg title.

I think Cyndy also hit the nail on the head. I was going for entertainment not so much to convey information. I suppose I felt it more acceptable in a sports segment, because sports (in general) is entertainment.

Thanks so much guys.
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Am I missing something? That's great you wanted to do something for fun....I get that. But you posted on a news photographers website in the critique section...what did you think was gonna happen? So was it because you don't like the answer you got? You see this type of entertainment shooting on shows like Access Hollywood and Entertainment Tonight...when they do red carpets or want to jazz up a celeb party...so there's a niche out there but I don't know if this is quite up there with any of them either...but really, fill me in if I am missing something. And believe you me...if you are watching a news story you can be entertained by it...good photography skills draw the eyes and ears in...sometimes subtlely...which is why you can be "entertained" and not know it especially on breaking news or even with a sports feature and get information. If the pics and sound can get you to pay attention and remain vested til the end then the breaking news, investigative, sports feature story "entertained" you. But splashing music and strobe effects all over a piece doesn't necessarily do that either.
 
Ozkar, I think you're taking this a bit too seriously. Why does everything have to be specifically categorized? Why does it matter if it should officially be considered a natpkg or not?
If was a goofy little story that didn't particularly work..but I like the concept of a faux red carpet fashion story done in a tongue in cheek manner.
Any way your do this story...whether it's a vo/sot a pkg or a nat, it's not much of a story. They have new uniforms. That's it.
I liked that Ala took a chance and did something different. Did it work for me? No. But the next one might.
 
Hey guys...first off, the reason for my second post in this thread was because I sensed a little attitude coming from the words in the box...maybe I read into it too much...but I was literally asking if I was missing something because I felt he took it the wrong way. Second...its okay that he did what he did and was having fun...but if you look at the actual words in my posts and put them together...they not only apply to this particular story but they'll help not him and any other photog who reads them when they do and want to do this type of shoot. And if fact I do sometimes takes this seriously. Why? Because I care. I don't get paid to offer my advice here...I do it out of the kindness of my heart for someone who obviously is letting us look at a single story and is asking for advice to get better. I do care about my profession and I am willing to do my part to help facilitate that, thats all. Storytellling is a dying art in our industry...you sometimes have to take advantage of storytelling oppurtunities when you come across them or it could be a long time before you get the oppurtunity again. All my critiques are from my perspective. What I would or wouldn't do. Maybe some basic theory or approach thats universal...but if I am giving bad advice or perspective than I encourage others to share their thoughts. I do think more critiques from others are needed here. I do my part, thats all. I am just one man trying....me, myself trying to get better and learn...and helping those who want to help themselves. By the way...I am in NO way trying to make fun of anybody here that posts in "critques"...if my initial post came off as making fun of somebody then I apologize for that because it wasn't nor ever is my intention to that.
 
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Ozcar - I respect you opinion greatly. That said, Ala0987 took my remarks the wrong way. I saw he was trying to entertain...but I wasn't impressed with what he did. He neither informed nor entertained. And yes...in order to become better, you DO need to take risks. This was one that can be filed away as "not quite there."

b-roll IS for news. There are other sites for entertainment. And while I am most definitely NOT a sports nut, sports IS information. It is big business. I honestly think Ala could have come up with a more focused story that included information/facts which would have made the piece more interesting. And that is what he should be looking for - ways to merge his creativity and desire to be different and take risks with what news is about.

Those who disagree w Ozkar, please realize he is the most consistently neutral and helpful poster on b-roll. I've never seen him out to take anyone down or make fun of them. Every post I've read by him has given me new insight either in how to put a story together or how to do a critique properly. So don't put your spin on his words please. Look for those nuggets that will make you better.
 
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