Skate park nat pkg

[ica47]

Hey Guys-

I just did a NAT PKG on a new skate park opening... I'm interested to hear what you think!

(I know my lens was dirty...other than that :-] )

here is the link:

http://b-roll.net/tv/view_video.php?viewkey=16e0238f741fab228fec

[b-rollTV]1375[/b-rollTV]

Jessica

 

[Latin Lens]

Okay....really good job gathering nats, shots and interviews for your story.....this is a good piece but it really lacks a story. You might have been able to help that by using the older guy as a person to center your piece around....this helps by giving a begining, middle and an end. Set up where you are with a wide with nats and a sounbite underneath it. The older skater is good person to personalize the opening of this skate park with because he might have paid attention to what was there before or remembers the fight to get the park built...that kind of stuff. That element adds the humor and emotion that makes the piece slightly better. I can tell thats not your first one (nat pkg...or is it?)....but you got basics down just find the story and it'll all come together.

 

[nparsons]

good effort...

As one of the wise natpack geniuses in my shop once told me, "just get a person to say their name, where they are at, and what they are doing in one sentence." seriously, it works! its gets the where and what solved for the viewer right off the top.

seemed decent, but latin lens expressed most of my thoughts.

 

[nguyen.jason]

Hey I thought it was a good pkg. I loved the baby, haha. I like how you weren't affraid to get close and have folks ride right infront of your camera. Not alot of people do that when it comes to these type of pkgs. I do think it lacked a little story, but I liked the action. I do know at my station, we wouldn't air the damn so I'm suppised you got away with it.

 

[ica47]

Thanks for the advice...I love to hear it

I completely agree with the critiques about lack of setup and storyline. We ran a vo into the story where the anchors explained all the logistics of the park, where it was, how big it is, that kinda thing... I guess what I was going for was response from skaters, and trying to give people a feel for what it was like to really be there. I probably should have mentioned that in the first post

Jessica

 

[MixMinusMonkey]

A showcase of solid composition and shot anticipation. However the dirt on the lens was a distraction to me. It's kind of like giving a powerful speech with a poppy seed stuck in your teeth. Most people won't notice it but for some OCDs, it's all they will see.

 

[Latin Lens]

Thanks for the advice...I love to hear it

I completely agree with the critiques about lack of setup and storyline. We ran a vo into the story where the anchors explained all the logistics of the park, where it was, how big it is, that kinda thing... I guess what I was going for was response from skaters, and trying to give people a feel for what it was like to really be there. I probably should have mentioned that in the first post

Jessica

Your post kinda sums up the difficulty of the natpkg....of course you can put one together no problem but does it really make sense? Thats the quandry about doing and even attempting a natpkg. There needs to be a story told...thats the hook to get you to stay involved in the story. The cool shots are all extraneous to the basic fundamental...what am I learning by watching. Remember...its a stand alone story so it should be able to stand alone to tell the story. Its a valian effort to do natpkg but when you get the right one its a nice piece to have in your aresenal...keep it up....keep trying....learn from every mistake and learn how to make it better. You did so much right in this piece...you're well ahead of the curve.

 

[Hank Scorpio]

I'm putting on my bullet proof vest before I say this...

Not everything needs a beginning-middle-end/storytelling approach. In this case she said the beginning was the anchor intro. The piece is the middle and the tag is the end.

In a perfect world every story would have a beginning-middle-end formula and we would have no talking hair-do's but these days when producers and NDs want a million stories crammed into a 30 minute or one hour show it isn't always possible.

I thought it was well edited and nicely shot. Quick cuts and way to get candid soundbites from the skaters that you used to bridge the SOTs from the olt timer. I will second the baby shot it showed the range of ages that are interested in the sport, from the 1 year old kids to the 40 year old kids.

 

[redcoat]

After watching this piece for like the 4th time I really like it. I saw a definitive beginning, middle (climax) and end. The beginning had a really great "free spirit" vibe. I used to skate, and when I think about skateboarding I remember it was all about feeling of the moment. I think the opening with the various soundbytes under video really captured that idea.

The middle or climax was definitely the wrecks scenes. A staple of extreme sports. That was an exciting element of the story that really gave it some punctuation.

I thought the closing soundbyte worked well, but I really could have gone for a better closing shot. How about a super wide shot of the entire park filled with people? That would have left me with a better sense of closure.

Also, did you consider actually getting on a board and getting some shots with movement in them? Try hopping on that board and getting some shots with the ground whizzing by. Someone would have loaned you a deck for that. Or if you don't feel comfortable getting on the board yourself, you could set the camera on the board and run or walk along side it and get a first person view from the board. Those are the risky shots I always love to get As effective as fast cuts can be sometimes, I wouldn't have minded seeing more tricks from start to finish.

 

[Latin Lens]

Okay watched it again....saw Redcoats and Hanks comments about the begining, middle and end...and I see their point(s). But let me say that a "story" like this doesn't technically need a begining, middle and end....BUT it would really really really help this piece if it did. The action and enjoyment is good enough...but I guess I just want a little more substance.

It ran like under a minute...so the time it would have added to put some elements in to make it really snap out would probably have pushed it 1:20 or 1:30...with the editing sustaining through it would go by quick.

I just wanted to comment about forethought...thinking about what you're shooting before you shoot sometimes...its about making a good stroy better....look for elements like that to improve the story. It really will make a differance not only in your natpkgs but in your daily turns as well.

 

[Latin Lens]

Had to lose the 666 number of posts.....

 

[nguyen.jason]

haha i don't blame you LL

 

[Latin Lens]

I want to share an anecdote for this natpkg topic....I am in Special Projects so its rare that'll I will get to do natpkgs...but around thanksgiving I got a chance or told the station I could do one on a group of grocery volunteers getting boxes ready to distrubute food to homeless people for the holidays.

Great....it was much better than I anticapted so I pitched my natpkg and they accepted...and away I went. Got the job done....and I liked what I did.

Was gonna post it here for critique but when I showed my chief....he looked at me and said, "Whats the story?"...I just saw a bunch of people filling boxes....I didn't do as quite a good job as I had hoped. Thats the point.....it looks cool and fun....but any chief wants to know what the story is. So I didn't post it because I didn't do a good job....but we talked about the piece and I learned something...about how to really find a story because there always is one there...you just have to find it....and make it your own.

 

[NEWSSHOOTER3]

Slice

I really dug this piece. Not just as a former skate rat, but I though it didn't need a "story". In my opinion, some pieces are just a "slice". This was a couple of hours of fun, at a skate park, wrapped up in a... package!

The shots were gathered & cut nice, the sound was crisp, and I felt like I spent a (quick) day at the skatepark!

Nice job!