Gene Cotton
Member
[b-rollTV]1087[/b-rollTV]
[b-rollTV]1085[/b-rollTV]
Critique away.
Thanks, Gene
[b-rollTV]1085[/b-rollTV]
Critique away.
Thanks, Gene
Hey Now.........
- Thread starter Gene Cotton
- Start date
NEWSSHOOTER3
Well-known member
Bowling
I thought the bowling story was okay. Kind of pedestrian, but not bad. First, if you feel you must open with the panning shot, let it start, let it stop. Also, just one stand light in that room would have made an immense difference in quality. However, there were some pretty good natural moments throughout the piece. And, I say it early, I say it often- More tight, TIGHT, TIGHTS.... This was composed of mostly medium to medium cuts.
Finally, I did enjoy the standup. You put some thought into this, and I though it worked pretty well. It shows your ability to be creative. But, my only thought on this is concerning the last shot. Just me being picky but... I thought the last shot should have been a tight, screen only shot (with the same video that you did use, on the screen), w/o the dissolve. What a transition that would have been, in my opinion... if that makes sense?
Anyway, pretty good stuff. Keep the creative juices flowing!
I thought the bowling story was okay. Kind of pedestrian, but not bad. First, if you feel you must open with the panning shot, let it start, let it stop. Also, just one stand light in that room would have made an immense difference in quality. However, there were some pretty good natural moments throughout the piece. And, I say it early, I say it often- More tight, TIGHT, TIGHTS.... This was composed of mostly medium to medium cuts.
Finally, I did enjoy the standup. You put some thought into this, and I though it worked pretty well. It shows your ability to be creative. But, my only thought on this is concerning the last shot. Just me being picky but... I thought the last shot should have been a tight, screen only shot (with the same video that you did use, on the screen), w/o the dissolve. What a transition that would have been, in my opinion... if that makes sense?
Anyway, pretty good stuff. Keep the creative juices flowing!
NEWSSHOOTER3
Well-known member
Parking Meters
The parking meter story was pretty cool. You got from shot to shot pretty well. However, there were some pretty long pauses in there, especially at "Gonna make it a little easier on us...". I thought the piece was over there, but maybe that's just me. On one hand, I thought you under-shot this, as in, you needed just a few more shots sprinkled in, but... on the other hand, I kinda liked some of the long shots, like the first one. You were positioned well for that. And, your sound was crisp and clear throughout.
The parking meter story was pretty cool. You got from shot to shot pretty well. However, there were some pretty long pauses in there, especially at "Gonna make it a little easier on us...". I thought the piece was over there, but maybe that's just me. On one hand, I thought you under-shot this, as in, you needed just a few more shots sprinkled in, but... on the other hand, I kinda liked some of the long shots, like the first one. You were positioned well for that. And, your sound was crisp and clear throughout.
Hank Scorpio
Well-known member
First off, I'm no Speilberg so take this for what it is...
When the reporter says the line "...making them smile..." you did have a shot of grandma smiling, but to really knock it out of the park a close close close up of grandma's huge smile would be great there. It's a pretty standard reporter line, but you could have niced up her marginal writing with this shot.
They are watching a TV, I may be wrong but I don't think there were any close ups of grandma or grandpa's eyes watching the screen. They're wearing glasses? Position yourself to get a shot of the TV reflected in their specs. Use the 2x if you have to, but get in there and get that shot!
Close ups will set you apart from Joe Shooter, who will be working at Target five years from now while you are in Seattle, Denver, or wherever you want to be kicking a$$.
Also, like the gentleman from THE ATL said a light would have made your vid shine.
To use another cheezy baseball pun the stand up was a home run. Absolutely. It was perfectly sequenced and the dissolve between the actual ball going down the lane and the virtual ball striking the pins on the video game was top notch.
When the reporter says the line "...making them smile..." you did have a shot of grandma smiling, but to really knock it out of the park a close close close up of grandma's huge smile would be great there. It's a pretty standard reporter line, but you could have niced up her marginal writing with this shot.
They are watching a TV, I may be wrong but I don't think there were any close ups of grandma or grandpa's eyes watching the screen. They're wearing glasses? Position yourself to get a shot of the TV reflected in their specs. Use the 2x if you have to, but get in there and get that shot!
Close ups will set you apart from Joe Shooter, who will be working at Target five years from now while you are in Seattle, Denver, or wherever you want to be kicking a$$.
Also, like the gentleman from THE ATL said a light would have made your vid shine.
To use another cheezy baseball pun the stand up was a home run. Absolutely. It was perfectly sequenced and the dissolve between the actual ball going down the lane and the virtual ball striking the pins on the video game was top notch.
Gene Cotton
Member
Thanks
I appreciate the insight.
Regarding the wii story... it's funny when I look back at it again and again.
I see some slop/loose edits that could be tightened up, especially in the beginning. Concerning the light (or lack there of) I had thought about doing it, but nixed the idea because I didn't want to be any more of a distraction to the older folks there. I wasn't sure what sort of mental status these folks possessed. My biggest concern was getting good sound (and moments) to drive the piece. I was trying for the "fly on the wall" approach. I wish it was "prettier" though.
Regarding the parking meter story...I wanted to let edits/shots breathe. I feel I get caught up in a faster style of pacing every once and a while...this time I wanted a mix.
Did you notice the law enforcement shot at :53 sec? It was my way of having some fun with the police.
Thanks, again.
Gene
I appreciate the insight.
Regarding the wii story... it's funny when I look back at it again and again.
I see some slop/loose edits that could be tightened up, especially in the beginning. Concerning the light (or lack there of) I had thought about doing it, but nixed the idea because I didn't want to be any more of a distraction to the older folks there. I wasn't sure what sort of mental status these folks possessed. My biggest concern was getting good sound (and moments) to drive the piece. I was trying for the "fly on the wall" approach. I wish it was "prettier" though.
Regarding the parking meter story...I wanted to let edits/shots breathe. I feel I get caught up in a faster style of pacing every once and a while...this time I wanted a mix.
Did you notice the law enforcement shot at :53 sec? It was my way of having some fun with the police.
Thanks, again.
Gene
Gene Cotton
Member
Thanks
Much appreciated Hank,
Thanks.
Gene
Much appreciated Hank,
Thanks.
Gene
Hank Scorpio
Well-known member
Ok I'll double dip too...
You found a genuine character. The parking meter guy was funny and had a little comical drawl that should have been sprinkled a little more throughout the story.
I know you may be thinking that's a reporter/writing thing but if he pops up just two more times b!tching about something after his initial rant about paper clips and pesos it would have added much more personality and levity to your story. If the reporter doesn't write them in, add a couple yourself then show him when you are done editing. 99% of the time they'll love it.
Who puts pesos in meters anyway???
Broken record time:
When your dude is drilling the meter shut or open or whatever he was doing a close close close up of the drill bit/screw would have moved us quickly to the next shot. Close up shot, nat hit of the drill, then BOOM! on to the next sequence.
Very nice work though, great sequence with the coin being dropped into the machine.
You found a genuine character. The parking meter guy was funny and had a little comical drawl that should have been sprinkled a little more throughout the story.
I know you may be thinking that's a reporter/writing thing but if he pops up just two more times b!tching about something after his initial rant about paper clips and pesos it would have added much more personality and levity to your story. If the reporter doesn't write them in, add a couple yourself then show him when you are done editing. 99% of the time they'll love it.
Who puts pesos in meters anyway???
Broken record time:
When your dude is drilling the meter shut or open or whatever he was doing a close close close up of the drill bit/screw would have moved us quickly to the next shot. Close up shot, nat hit of the drill, then BOOM! on to the next sequence.
Very nice work though, great sequence with the coin being dropped into the machine.
JoeyO38
Well-known member
Awesome stuff. I really thought both stories were great.
The only thing I wanted to mention was during the bowling stand-up, the reporter's inflection came to a hault each time an edit was made. (I believe after she says "bowl" and "ball.") It makes her sound choppy. Have the reporter continue speaking the stand up even though she knows that the edit will already have been made. It will keep her thinking of the standup as one long thought, rather than 3 short ones. I hope that makes sense.
The only thing I wanted to mention was during the bowling stand-up, the reporter's inflection came to a hault each time an edit was made. (I believe after she says "bowl" and "ball.") It makes her sound choppy. Have the reporter continue speaking the stand up even though she knows that the edit will already have been made. It will keep her thinking of the standup as one long thought, rather than 3 short ones. I hope that makes sense.
I thought both stories were really well done. Well thought out and you could have been lazy with them both and you weren't. I don't over analyze TV news. Shoulda had this shot, or that dissolve in this spot, BS. Thats not how people watch the news, its how news photographers watch news. I much prefer to watch like a viewer would. It's more entertaining and less complicated. I found myself less interested in the parking meter story so I started seeing it more like a shooter. You shot it well. The old folks bowling was so great of a story you probably could have gotten lazy with it and it still would have been great but you didn't. Very nice work. Your hired.
Chicago Dog
Well-known member
Heya Gene. I don't have a lot of time right at the moment, so I'll say this: I loved the parking meter story!
My favorite part was at the beginning: I enjoyed the sequence and the "marriage" with the sound bite. Man, that was spot-on. That's what people talk about when they reference using video and sound together. You sequenced a medium shot of a meter, jumped to a wide shot with a close-up shot of another meter in the foreground, and had Gary walking up to it, describing what he finds in the meters.
You didn't let the nats get away from you. It's so easy (and so attractive for shooter/editors) to throw in a bunch of triple-hit nat sequences. You had one, but it fit -- and you didn't saturate the package with them. The pacing of Gary's bites matched the way you edited the piece.
I have just two complaints, one of which is more nit-picky. After the sequence of coins into the meters, your next shot is a guy pulling out of the spot. That's backwards! As a suggestion, I would've waited at the end of a line of meters to grab a shot of someone putting in a coin and walking away from the meter. That way, after the sequence of quick coin drops, you can edit the clip of someone's hand leaving the meter and walking away from it.
The other complaint: "We've got 853 to do!" That would've been perfect -- both shot and sound -- as a closing! If you've still got the story laying around, try dropping it together like that. I think it would've capped off a great story.
Finally, something you've got no control over whatsoever: the reporters' voice. I would suggest the reporter bring this story into a workshop. The writing is done well, but he sounds like he's "reading" it rather than "telling" it. I don't know how well you two know each other, but he might appreciate a little bit of input on improvement.
Well done, Gene!
My favorite part was at the beginning: I enjoyed the sequence and the "marriage" with the sound bite. Man, that was spot-on. That's what people talk about when they reference using video and sound together. You sequenced a medium shot of a meter, jumped to a wide shot with a close-up shot of another meter in the foreground, and had Gary walking up to it, describing what he finds in the meters.
You didn't let the nats get away from you. It's so easy (and so attractive for shooter/editors) to throw in a bunch of triple-hit nat sequences. You had one, but it fit -- and you didn't saturate the package with them. The pacing of Gary's bites matched the way you edited the piece.
I have just two complaints, one of which is more nit-picky. After the sequence of coins into the meters, your next shot is a guy pulling out of the spot. That's backwards! As a suggestion, I would've waited at the end of a line of meters to grab a shot of someone putting in a coin and walking away from the meter. That way, after the sequence of quick coin drops, you can edit the clip of someone's hand leaving the meter and walking away from it.
The other complaint: "We've got 853 to do!" That would've been perfect -- both shot and sound -- as a closing! If you've still got the story laying around, try dropping it together like that. I think it would've capped off a great story.
Finally, something you've got no control over whatsoever: the reporters' voice. I would suggest the reporter bring this story into a workshop. The writing is done well, but he sounds like he's "reading" it rather than "telling" it. I don't know how well you two know each other, but he might appreciate a little bit of input on improvement.
Well done, Gene!
Gene Cotton
Member
Thanks again for the insight.
-Gene
-Gene
Hank Scorpio
Well-known member
Some of he best stories I've seen have been a "fly on the wall" approach.
And you're right, a light with that approach sometimes f's up the atmosphere you are going for.
Keep up the good work.