Author with Polio

[Square Circle]

[b-rollTV]1523[/b-rollTV]

Happy New Year,

Please critique my work so I can continue to improve.

I shot this almost four months ago. I tried to add some visual interest to a very static situation by varying the focus and using non-standard cropping. I don't know if those things would be acceptable for TV though I'm shooting for the company website. One thing is that I realized after it was originally posted was that I had too many wide to wide shots based on previous critiques here of other videos. I edited this down from 3 minutes to about 90 seconds. If you want to see the original version, it's here:

http://videos.cleveland.com/plain-dealer/2008/09/david_stephens_novelist.html

I look forward to your suggestions and comments. Thanks again.

 

[cameragod]

I’m not going to touch the lighting. It looked like you had little options. Maybe a shot or two from outside in? Getting high instead of low, similar effect but without the flaring windows.

First up clean you lens. Keep it clean.

The pull focus from him reading to the cross is so fast it looks like a jumpcut, slow it down.

There is so much non-standard cropping that instead of being a feature it becomes annoying. Things like that should be used like punctuation not continuously. Shoot the iv and then re-ask a few key questions with non- standard framing. That gives you options.

The move up from the floor… start with the camera off the floor (so it doesn’t wobble or bump lifting off) and make a positive move up with a static end point in mind. If you move always have an end frame in mind and stop dead when you get there. It’s easier to cut into a moving shot than out of one. Mixing out is not always an option and to me as a cameraman is like admitting I F’d up in the field.

I don’t know I can see you worked really hard on this, a difficult subject to shoot interestingly but I just didn’t enjoy it. It feels like you were trying too hard. Sometimes simplicity is best.

 

[Latin Lens]

Lonnie....you are making strides in the right direction with every piece you post...I am really enjoying watching you use the critiques and applying them to your work.

With that said....I liked this piece for the simplicity of it. My only major problem was the order the story was told in. Maybe you should have started off with the physical difficulties he has "wirting" a book...then moved to the actual topic of the book...and back to how much writing is fun and the inspiration he finds and all the books he has read....that would have been a better order...OR you could have hidden the fact he had polio...and saved it as a hook? But you can see...it just needs a minour adjustment in the order.

I liked some of the artsy shots....keep working on it..your almost there. If you can...play with some of the settings (iris, focus, filters) and see what that does for you. Try and stay one step ahead of your subject...try and get them moving towards you (in and out of frame)...and then away from you (in and out of frame) instead of relying on dissolves.

Remember to get more cutaways of struff around your subject...latest book he's read...any research book he has on hand...writing resources....stuff like that. They can be used as elements in your story. Keep it up..you are improving!