Overall...not too bad...there were a couple rough auido spots but those can be easily cleaned up. However, with the nice story that you seemed to be able to get there just seemed to something lacking in it...from the actually story itself to the action going on on off the field. Approach is everything on somehting like this. Sequencial movement is key to this as well. The driving shot at the begining was unnecessary and kinda distracting to me. I needed to see the subject shouting the letters to help better understand what's going on...change your composition for each letter and you can edit a nice sequence back and forth til you get to FRESNO. Remember that while there's action in the stands that's the obvious video to get you also needed to see the reaction to the cheers on the field...did it help or hurt the baseball team. Woulda liked to see a GO FRESNO GO chant followed up with a hit or a pop up to end the inning and a reaciton to that. You gotta put it all together so we get action and reaction to get a better story out of it. I said sequencial movement earlier is key because all of a sudden I see him throwing out a first pitch in the middle of the pkg and it seemed out of place given the fact that the game should be going on....those kinds of things make it look like you're really understanding story structure...sequences are neccesary for editing but also neccesary for story structure to make better sense as well...don't bounce around in the time machine unless its a clear action you can't tell when this action took place. I know first pitches are before game. Honestly...it hurts to admit but this had some great potential because he seemed like a great character to be around for awhile but the approach of this fell way short to truly get the impact of the possible story at hand.
It also would have been nice if the reporter didn't slam it together. He had not looked at the video. But I see what you mean, varying my shots, getting crowd reaction, getting baseball player reaction. It all would have added to the story.