High School Volleyball Player
- Thread starter John M.
- Start date
bluffton
Well-known member
As for visually, I would have loved to heard from her parents, sibling, seen her in a class room interacting with others besides on the court. I never saw her dealing with anyone. I would have liked to have felt some intensity in her demeanor. I heard a lot about how aggressive she is, but the story felt passive.
The photography was fine, the edit was fine. The length was just too long. You have to find other "golden nuggets" or as John said,"Surprises" to keep me interested. Her story I'm sure doesn't stop in the class room or on the volleyball court. Does she volunteer, have a learning disability, tutor people, have a crack addiction, love foreign films, speak another language, anything. You started at volleyball, and ended at journalism. Then just kept going for a long time. If the reporter can't keep up then you ask more questions. Find out something interesting about her by talking to her friends and family. You might find she has a strange collection of scabs or dead insects. You don't know unless you ask someone else about her hobbies, and family will always deliver the funny dirt.
Good luck.
The photography was fine, the edit was fine. The length was just too long. You have to find other "golden nuggets" or as John said,"Surprises" to keep me interested. Her story I'm sure doesn't stop in the class room or on the volleyball court. Does she volunteer, have a learning disability, tutor people, have a crack addiction, love foreign films, speak another language, anything. You started at volleyball, and ended at journalism. Then just kept going for a long time. If the reporter can't keep up then you ask more questions. Find out something interesting about her by talking to her friends and family. You might find she has a strange collection of scabs or dead insects. You don't know unless you ask someone else about her hobbies, and family will always deliver the funny dirt.
Good luck.
TXTechPhoto
Well-known member
Well Done!
Nice Job John! The photography was great, the storytelling strong and did you do the reporting as well? Because I liked the writing.
As Bluffton mentioned and I think you as well feel it was too long and lost its steam. I think you could have added a couple more elements to this story to keep it moving: like her actually reporting on other sports; I would have liked to have seen more of the writing she has done; talk to other athletes she reports on and get their reaction; also like Bluffton said footage and nats of her in journalism class could have added something.
During the game footage it might have been nice to see more variety of the focal length, more tight shots, and shots on the sticks. It looked more like it was shot for highlights rather than a feature story. However, the sound editing, nat pops and storyflow were awesome. Keep up the good work and if you one-man-banded this story that makes it even more kick a$$!
Nice Job John! The photography was great, the storytelling strong and did you do the reporting as well? Because I liked the writing.
As Bluffton mentioned and I think you as well feel it was too long and lost its steam. I think you could have added a couple more elements to this story to keep it moving: like her actually reporting on other sports; I would have liked to have seen more of the writing she has done; talk to other athletes she reports on and get their reaction; also like Bluffton said footage and nats of her in journalism class could have added something.
During the game footage it might have been nice to see more variety of the focal length, more tight shots, and shots on the sticks. It looked more like it was shot for highlights rather than a feature story. However, the sound editing, nat pops and storyflow were awesome. Keep up the good work and if you one-man-banded this story that makes it even more kick a$$!
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redcoat
Well-known member
Overall I liked the story! The alternating between volleyball and typing at the beginning seriously kept my attention. I honestly don't recall the last time my interest was peaked that much...and it was with such a simple device. I thought the editing of that portion was near flawless, cause it fit in so well with the writing.
I agree that the volleyball footage seemed to be shot more for a sports highlight real than for a feature story. How about a super wide of the gym while the players are playing? How about more cheers from the audience? A closeup of feet shuffling across the floor. A sequenced shot of a smash, the ball flying by the net, and someone diving and missing. The package was already pretty editing intensive, so maybe that's asking too much. But overall I think the shot variety could have been a little better.
Also, when doing the interviews, try changing the screen direction from subject to subject. Have one on the right, then the next on the left, switch it up. I didn't care for the dissolves going from one interview to the next. It looked like one person was fading into the other. And what about having the main subject more in her element during her interview? Like have her sitting on the court with a volleyball nearby with a light just on her and everything else in the gym dark.
But overall, for how long the piece was, I thought you did a great job. Especially on the editing. But I agree with most of the previous comments, if you would have followed her while she was doing a story, and actually discovered her finding out some of those little surprises that the reporter says she knows are so important, that would have really made the story more personal and interesting.
I agree that the volleyball footage seemed to be shot more for a sports highlight real than for a feature story. How about a super wide of the gym while the players are playing? How about more cheers from the audience? A closeup of feet shuffling across the floor. A sequenced shot of a smash, the ball flying by the net, and someone diving and missing. The package was already pretty editing intensive, so maybe that's asking too much. But overall I think the shot variety could have been a little better.
Also, when doing the interviews, try changing the screen direction from subject to subject. Have one on the right, then the next on the left, switch it up. I didn't care for the dissolves going from one interview to the next. It looked like one person was fading into the other. And what about having the main subject more in her element during her interview? Like have her sitting on the court with a volleyball nearby with a light just on her and everything else in the gym dark.
But overall, for how long the piece was, I thought you did a great job. Especially on the editing. But I agree with most of the previous comments, if you would have followed her while she was doing a story, and actually discovered her finding out some of those little surprises that the reporter says she knows are so important, that would have really made the story more personal and interesting.
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Thank you all for the feedback. I realize that's a lot of high school volleyball to sit through and I appreciate you taking the time to watch and to articulate your thoughts about it.
Yes, photographer, reporter and editor were the same person. I began my career 20 years ago as a one-man-band but for much of the intervening time between then and now I have not shot.
Hence the plea here for help.
Yes, photographer, reporter and editor were the same person. I began my career 20 years ago as a one-man-band but for much of the intervening time between then and now I have not shot.
Hence the plea here for help.
NEWSSHOOTER3
Well-known member
Combo
You said it... it was a little too long. I was waiting for a twist, since your reporter brought it up. The interview framing would have been better if the interviews switched screen direction.
All-in-all, I thought it was a pretty good combination of shooting and editing.
You said it... it was a little too long. I was waiting for a twist, since your reporter brought it up. The interview framing would have been better if the interviews switched screen direction.
All-in-all, I thought it was a pretty good combination of shooting and editing.