The Swim Teacher

[ferlonjr]

Hey everyone, I'm back again for another critique! This was only my second time being able to do a feature and it went 1000 times better than the first... I had fun shooting and editing this and I'd like to know what you all think about it... all critiques are welcome! Thanks in advance! I tried to keep the pacing kind of fast and steady throughout and I incorporated more nats than I ever have before. Hope you all like it!

Oh yeah and I worked with our sports reporter on this pkg and I'm glad I took the opportunity and offered to shoot this when he told me about the story!

here it is:

http://vimeo.com/24905628

 

[Latin Lens]

Very nice Ferlon...I can tell you are absorbing the info from your critiques and applying them to your shoots. I can tell you are developing teamwork between you and your reporter because the stories are flowing better from begining to end. Keep doing this. Don't stop...but you now need to start developing your "photog eye" (as I can it) and search for the shoots that will really make the story come alive and standout. Right now you are shooting the obvious...but try and look beyond that and find the shots that will add the personality to the story. Here's what I mean...nice sequence to start the piece...but ask yourself...whats the story behind the story? Whats the shot behind the obvious shot? Well we are talking about swimming...we are talking about swimming with autistic kids...there's fear there...there's anticipation...there's worry...what says that visually? If a kid is getting ready to swim and he's holding the wall...maybe his knuckles are "white"...maybe there's an expression on his face...find those shots to draw us in...incorporate that with nat sound...help visually with the writing the process, stuff that your reporter can write to...You still need to work on variation in intvs...its a pool story so you thought the pool was the obvious backdrop but it got to be too much for me personally...change it up...again develop that "photog eye" when it comes to intvs to really make it standout. Nice gfx work...but try and blur the background and maybe test some shadows on documents to give it a 3D effect..the blurred background will help make it standout because your eye will be drawn to the "in focus" image...use dissolves to add animation to it...start with a in focus shot...dissolve to an out of focus shot (same shot...just layer it)...while dissolving the document on top...incoporating documents into an action story can kill your momentum, so try and find ways to not do that by jazzing it up. Also...keep looking for cool tight and ultratight shots...in swimming there's splashing as they go thru the water...didn't see one that could have added some spice to your intro or generic broll that looks cool. Good effort here...I like what I am seeing. Keep trying and then keep trying some more.

 

[ferlonjr]

Hey thanks Oscar for the critique, it is greatly appreciated! Yeah, I tried hard with this one, trying new things, letting the characters leave and enter the frame as much as I could... I never thought about it until now, about finding the story behind the story, that is going to be a real challenge that I am definitely up for... I will begin to develop my "photog eye" with the info you have given me. So now it's about digging even deeper! As I think about it now, there are some really good shots that I could have gotten with the kid being really anxious and even excited about getting into the water and at times he was sort of reluctant I guess, but I really did miss those... at the time I was thinking "well, it really won't help anything, because he's moving too fast" but I was definitely wrong about that... How would I go about changing my interviews up?, because I was caught up with using the pool as a backdrop, I don't know how I could have made that better... I'll be looking to add all these things to my arsenal, and I'll post my progress when I'm able to get another story! By the way I just joined the NPPA on Saturday and I think it was the right move for me! Thanks again and have a great one Oscar!

 

[Latin Lens]

Well...take a look at all of your surroundings...its an obvious setup to do what you did...Mom sitting by the pool...swim teacher in a chair with the pool in the background...same thing just different side with the dad...so you got the pool background covered...mom was a different look so its okay...one wide and one tight...but maybe for the dad you could have done something entirely different...maybe just have him sit in the chairs that surround the pool and shoot 90 degrees from him so he can watch and react to his kid in the pool. Maybe you could have done a "deeper" interview shot with him on one side of the pool and you can alter as you come up one side and adjust your shot to see what is and isn't working with it...then you have 3 really completely different looks. This comes along with developing your photog eye...as that develops it'll translate to your interview framing and composure. Just scan and think constantly on scene. Remember to understand what the story is about and find shots that convey the deeper meaning of whats behind the obvious story. Nice job.

 

[ferlonjr]

Thanks again Oscar, I will begin to survey the scene a lot more, because this interests me a lot, it's a whole new level in storytelling, and that's exactly what I want to do! Those are some good interview ideas, I'll keep those in mind! Thanks again and have a good one!