I took a look at your package and I thought it was pretty good except for a couple of things that jumped out at me. First, let me start by saying, I'm probably as experienced if not less than you are...so I don't claim to be anybody special. I'm not going to call this a critique, more of an observationg. I'm just going to tell what jumped out at me which was only a few things. Fist was the audio. This could be a youtube anomoly but when I listened to it, it was like a split mono. Some sound came out of my left speaker...some from the right. I loved the way you opened it I thought those shots were good. What I did see however were some spots that I thought were a bit over exposed. Specifically the kids being chased by I think was an indian, and towards the end where there we someone was sitting under a tree. I get that the subject in that shot was in the shade and the tents will blow out because they are white but I was wondering about which filter you were on, and you couldn't up an f stop or two. The other thing(and something I've been hammered on) is zooming. I saw a slight pull out on the tight shot of the guy hammering on the anvil and I wondered why. To me the shot was good the way you had it orginally framed. Kids...from what I've been taught I typically will get down to thier level... i.e. lower the sticks/pedestal down.....kneel down if off shoulder. That's just my rule of thumb every situation I guess is different. Last thing and I've been told about this...is changing angles. Makes things more interesting but you gotta kind of pick your spots. That's just the stuff I saw that jumped out at me. Again I'm not super photog and I for sure don't know it all... I just thought I'd share. Since on good observation deserves another here is the link to my first natpkg...which I know isn't great but I've been told I've got some potential by my mentor.
After watching that nat pkg, here are a few things to work on:
- Keep an eye on your pacing. There's no need to dissolve unless the pacing calls for it. Instead use quick tight shots with nats to transition. This also helps the viewer pay attention to your story.
- Don't forget wide, medium, tight and Extreme tight/wide. These are very important storytelling shots that I believe were not in your story.
-As others have noted, watch your iris. That shot of the Indian chasing kids should not have been used.
-I liked the opening shot. How many times did they shoot that canon off? If the answer is more than once, I would have liked to see a tight shot of the canon being fired/loaded with nats to start the pkg.
-Also, don't forget that storytelling is beginning/middle/end.
-One thing that has helped me is when I go on a shoot, I focus on one aspect of my shooting that I want to improve. For example, tomorrow I will take extra effort to move my wireless mic around more than usual. Then next day I'll take extra effort to make sure all my shots are rock steady. This thought process should never change and you should always be striving towards perfection (which you/me will almost never meet).
Overall, I think you did a good enough job to keep me watching for about half the story. I turned it off after the overexposed shot. Keep working, your best story should always be the next one.