Can you Critique These Stories ???
- Thread starter MidwestShooter
- Start date
Sore Shoulder
Well-known member
Re: Boxing
I liked your use shots. And the different camera angles.
I only have one small criticism; when transitioning from the interior of the gym to the tree I would have preferred a tight shot of the tree first. I believe when transitioning from one location to another (especially inside to out) a tight shot makes the transition less visually jarring.
I liked your use shots. And the different camera angles.
I only have one small criticism; when transitioning from the interior of the gym to the tree I would have preferred a tight shot of the tree first. I believe when transitioning from one location to another (especially inside to out) a tight shot makes the transition less visually jarring.
MMrozinski
Well-known member
Boxing story...
Pretty solid stuff. The two biggest things I noticed were the opening and closing shots. They were kinda weak.. especially the opening shot. Both of those are a chance for you to show off your photography and neither one stuck me as something significant.
Your sound editing was really good I noticed. And you had a few great sequences. Loved the shot and nat at 16 seconds. That was money.
Many of your sequences were tight - tight - tight. Switch it up a bit. Tight of the barbell coming off the rack wide of the gym with the guy benching.
Also, you guys didn't do a very good job of using the coach as a character. All we saw was a tight shot of his face. You missed a chance to do some mic work with him. Let him get in his natural element and use some quick sots of him teaching.
You need to be more creative with your interview shots. You had one focal length the whole time. Switch it up.
Was there a way to personalize this story with one of his boxing buddies? The coach was o.k. but didn't really give you anything emotional.
The transition from boxing to the tree needed something. Not terrible but could have been done better. Maybe a little sound pop from the neighbor or someone to take you there.
Great way to tell what would have been a pretty boring visual story.
This was a pretty solid story. Keep up the great work! Build off this one.
Pretty solid stuff. The two biggest things I noticed were the opening and closing shots. They were kinda weak.. especially the opening shot. Both of those are a chance for you to show off your photography and neither one stuck me as something significant.
Your sound editing was really good I noticed. And you had a few great sequences. Loved the shot and nat at 16 seconds. That was money.
Many of your sequences were tight - tight - tight. Switch it up a bit. Tight of the barbell coming off the rack wide of the gym with the guy benching.
Also, you guys didn't do a very good job of using the coach as a character. All we saw was a tight shot of his face. You missed a chance to do some mic work with him. Let him get in his natural element and use some quick sots of him teaching.
You need to be more creative with your interview shots. You had one focal length the whole time. Switch it up.
Was there a way to personalize this story with one of his boxing buddies? The coach was o.k. but didn't really give you anything emotional.
The transition from boxing to the tree needed something. Not terrible but could have been done better. Maybe a little sound pop from the neighbor or someone to take you there.
Great way to tell what would have been a pretty boring visual story.
This was a pretty solid story. Keep up the great work! Build off this one.
MMrozinski
Well-known member
Once again pretty solid work but I'm noticing the same issues technically and in the storytelling.
Watch your story with the sound off. Then tell me how long it took for you to get to a wide shot of any kind. Quite honestly, with my definition of wide, you never shot one. Everything was tight - tight - tight. Show some variety in your focal lengths and edit them from one extreme to the other in sequence. You have to give the viewer a point of reference. In order to take them to the scene you have to let them establish where they are... only wide shots can do that.
Same as last time with the main guy you interviewed. Show me how he was apart of the story with something besides the lower 3rd. I need to see him in the action/apart of the event regardless of his title... dad or not.
You had one focal length for him during the interview. Get creative. I believe in keeping people in the element not taking them in a room away from where everything is happening.
Every great story has great characters. Take the most recent YOU TUBE guy from Huntsville, AL. That story was horrific from a TV Journalism standpoint. But they found a great character and now the story is famous (of course for all the wrong reasons. But you get what I'm saying about having great characters?)
You have continue to follow your characters into the action. Leave that wireless lav on them if you can and let them run off with it and look for moments.
If you would have done some mic work in this story you would have scored countless moments. You also could have taken your lav and pinned it on someone in the crowd as the hearse was approaching. The crowd interviews were kinda weak because you guys never established them as a character either.
Story telling in this one was rough. I can tell that your shooting, editing, and sound editing is pretty solid. You need to concentrate on the things I mentioned and become a better "visual storyteller".
Good job though. You have great potential.. I can see it.
Watch your story with the sound off. Then tell me how long it took for you to get to a wide shot of any kind. Quite honestly, with my definition of wide, you never shot one. Everything was tight - tight - tight. Show some variety in your focal lengths and edit them from one extreme to the other in sequence. You have to give the viewer a point of reference. In order to take them to the scene you have to let them establish where they are... only wide shots can do that.
Same as last time with the main guy you interviewed. Show me how he was apart of the story with something besides the lower 3rd. I need to see him in the action/apart of the event regardless of his title... dad or not.
You had one focal length for him during the interview. Get creative. I believe in keeping people in the element not taking them in a room away from where everything is happening.
Every great story has great characters. Take the most recent YOU TUBE guy from Huntsville, AL. That story was horrific from a TV Journalism standpoint. But they found a great character and now the story is famous (of course for all the wrong reasons. But you get what I'm saying about having great characters?)
You have continue to follow your characters into the action. Leave that wireless lav on them if you can and let them run off with it and look for moments.
If you would have done some mic work in this story you would have scored countless moments. You also could have taken your lav and pinned it on someone in the crowd as the hearse was approaching. The crowd interviews were kinda weak because you guys never established them as a character either.
Story telling in this one was rough. I can tell that your shooting, editing, and sound editing is pretty solid. You need to concentrate on the things I mentioned and become a better "visual storyteller".
Good job though. You have great potential.. I can see it.