Please Critique!

[ferlonjr]

Took the advice you all gave me and put it to use today. I know I have a lot more work to do, but I think this looks better than the other packs I've shot. Please critique again, and thanks so much in advance!

Took the advice I was given by some of you and applied to this pkg, and I think it's better than my others, though I know I have a lot to improve on. I tried better interview locations, on two of them at least, and it was very uncomfortable shooting the broll, because a lot of the people did not want to be filmed and were throwing hissy fits, if you will. So I was kind of limited. I tried to avoid the zooming in i kept doing in one of my packs, and blah blah blah, sorry for all the talking but here it is:

http://vimeo.com/20820215


if you didn't see my work prior to this to compare, it is here:

http://vimeo.com/20636444

Thanks in advance!

-Ferlon

 

[AKinDC]

Didn't look at the first version (your reel was taking too long to load), so this is just based off the new one.

The opening shot does nothing for me, and you're off of it even before the track starts. Start with something tight, and use the wide establishing shot to replace the outside sign shot you went to. No reason to jump outside just to show a dull sign.
Mix your audio! I can hear harsh audio cuts everywhere.
Your first interview: The light is way too harsh on his face...diffuse your light. My eyes are drawn to the guy sitting behind him. Pull your subject away from the bar a bit, which will allow you to create some depth of field and keep the eyes on the subject.
Icky jump cut from his interview to the shot of him smoking. Find something else to go to first.
I liked going to the exterior where you did before the owner SOT.
Speaking of which, that SOT was harsh. Too much profile, and your light is too much, and it's focused on her neck. Turn her towards you, and diffuse, diffuse, diffuse so that her background isn't so dark.
The move and the tight shot during the stand up are fine, but pull your reporter away from the wall so that you don't get that horrible shadow behind him. Very unflattering.
Facebook stuff worked for me.
Handful of tight shots were ok, but that would have been a nice time for a little sequencing. A little matched action of someone taking a smoke...maybe a tight if a cigarette in someones hand, cut to wide shot of him bringing it up, cut to tight shot of lips. Lots of options that will be more interesting than a random stream of shots.
Bartender SOT: His head is framed right in the middle of the TV...very distracting. I like using a wide shot there though.

That's about it. Got some decent shots there, some creativity in the stand-up, but you need to work on lighting, sequencing, and SOT framing.

 

[optic]

Cons: 1st shot in the center of frame is a pole move around and get it out of the shot or at least to the side.
:09 my focus was pulled on to the other guy in background (who is lit just fine btw)
:27 owner interview is profile tell your reporter to stand right next to you.
1:26 bartender intv needlessly wide you could of moved him far right (his left) and had bottles behind him (or change look space to other way)

Stand up. Try to and find a different angle to minimize shadow and why wasnt that on tripod (At very least for your tight).

Lighting is harsh but if your station is like mine than you probally dont have diffusers for your frezzi so thats excusable, but other options are to back up the camera or to bounce off the ceiling which, if im right and those are white paneling up top, would work. If nothing works sometimes gain is better than a light.

Pros:Bars are hard and you had good broll
Bartender intv I like ash tray in forground, (i would have liked to see an intv with lower camera at table ashtray forground customer backgroung smoking )
I like the bar music nats at start
I also like "seeing the smoke clear out"

 

[ferlonjr]

Great Advice!

Hey thank you both for the responses and the great critiques!

I see what you both mean about the bar interview, it makes sense to pull him further away and I wish I would have seen that at the time, because it would have helped in my interview yesterday, but today I used the technique!

The owner in the bar had burns on her face and said the light was burning her so she kept turning away from the camera. I was not able to set the interview the way I wanted because of this, so I gave in and just shot it that way, but I don't like it though.

During the standup my back was up against a big bush and one leg hanging off the stairs so i was kind of limited but nevertheless I see both of your points, I tripod would have been useful during the CU.

Yeah my station has not given us diffusers so I'm stuck with harsh lighting most of the time, and I'm in a bad position if I can't separate myself from the subject as far as I need to get.

thanks for the compliments about the broll and "the smoke clearing out" i appreciate it.

I'm glad you told me as well about going back outside to get a bar sign, I felt weird about that and did not know what to do there, and the opening shot as "re-looked" at it made me feel weird and it was not capturing at all.

Today I paid attention to all my audio and believe I mixed it well, thanks for the heads up there!

And I'll work on what you both said to me, thanks again for the advice, it is really helping me to improve each day I shoot at work!!!

 

[jimmy1988]

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
"We won't," the other two promised.
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his
coffee."
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

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