Lawyer jokes

[Baltimore Shooter]

Here - http://www.s2ki.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=3596

Warren

 

[Foxwood]

A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. "There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. "I’m too young to die. I’m only fifty five."

"Fifty five?" says Saint Peter. "No, according to out calculations, you’re eighty two."

"How do you figure that?" the lawyer asks.

Answers St. Peter: "We added up your time sheets."

 

[rocky1138]

Everyone here knows that there are only two real Lawyer jokes, right?



The rest are all true.

 

[SwampOtter]

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?

A Doberman Pincher

 

[pre-set]

Whaddya throw a drowning lawyer?


A cinderblock.

 

[pre-set]

Whaddya call a lawyer with heart disease?


Oxymoron.

 

[pinecone]

*** What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

a good start

*** There is a dead skunk and a dead lawyer lying in the road, What is the difference between the two?

there are skid marks leading to the skunk

 

[pre-set]

If a tree falls in the woods and crushes a lawyer, who does he sue?

 

[Run&Gun]

A lawyer is out in the ocean deep sea fishing and falls off the boat into a school of sharks below, but none of them attack. Why? Proffesional courtesy.

 

[pre-set]

If a lawyer caught fire, could you put the fire out by p!ssing on him?

Yes. But why?