It was a nice piece, but to tell you the absolute truth, it felt generic. There were a few clever edits, such as the "tears in the eyes" shot. You've got some shot variation, but there wasn't really a point to them, which is the idea behind sequencing.
I don't want to seem harsh, but this wasn't much more than a series of beauty shots sprinkled with some bites. It might've helped the piece feel more "personal" if you'd found a specific couple of people to follow: perhaps one vet and one relative of a fallen vet?
There were things in this package I wanted to see again: the horse carriage and the coffin draped in the American flag, for one. What was the story behind that? Is it some special memorial? Who runs it? Is he a vet? There's probably a really cool story there. If not, hey -- at least you tried (which you may have done already, I don't know).
Photopacks are fun to do. Just like a reporter package, though, it's very easy to let an otherwise-important element take over.
Three little things: first, you didn't need the dissolves. I understand why you put it in the last shot, but it didn't really need to be there. Second, there were two or three shots (including the opening) that weren't very level. Third, why'd you cut the Vietnam vet off at the ankles? It looks like you were going for some framing with the flag and the wreath, but I think the strange way it left the vet killed the attempt. Don't worry much about it -- live and learn!
Good luck in your future photopacks!