Drivers License Fees - Critique PLEASE!

[ferlonjr]

Hello everyone, I've been trying to use the advice you all have been giving me. I finally got a pkg to do that I could actually try the sequencing, and staying on the tripod, and trying to save myself with close ups. I think I did well, but that does not really matter to me, I do want to know what I did well, but more importantly I want to know how I can make it better, and what I possibly missed in shooting and editing. Thank you all in advance and the advice is greatly appreciated as always!

here's the link:

http://vimeo.com/23070726

-Ferlon

 

[ferlonjr]

pleaaaassssseeeee critique if you can, pleaaaaasssseeee! Thanks in advance!

 

[AKinDC]

Starting with three talking heads? Ouch. Boring way to start.
Why did you interview them outside, yet get most of your b-roll inside? Even with the outside SOT's, you could have just used their audio as nat sound pops throughout the piece...no real need to see them.
No need to go the the actual bill.
I heard a baby crying in the background...could have used it better as a nat pop.
Pretty good shot selection/sequencing...you shown a lot of improvement there. The fidgety foot was an especially nice shot.
The phoner SOT was long and boring...not much you could do there.
Work on opening and closing shots. Did you have people leaving or walking out the door?

 

[Latin Lens]

Yes, Ferlon...there is some improvement here. Some small improvements. Your shots are much steadier and you are begining to look for useful concepts shots that help reporters write to video (if they write to video). Good nat sound gathering here in this piece.

But here's the other side of it all. You have to understand that the tripod is the best tool in your aresenal...but you also need to vary your height level when shooting...steady shots can come when you place your camera on the floor. The fidgety foot is a good shot...make it great by being on the same level as the foot (by placing your camera on the floor) next to the fidgety foot. And you can get closer by approaching people and making them feel comfortable with you...put your camera on the ground next to their foot and sit down and say something like "Waiting sucks, huh?"...then they see you as a person without the camera in your hands...you get the up close shot or can at least wait for it and they are not so conscience that you are hanging around them. Win-win. So work on that...height variation along with composition variation. Talking heads off the top was a boring intro...and its kinda a "mistake" to shoot your intvs outside but your story is all inside. A better intro would have been a good outside location shot of the DMV with your cam in the grass or behind a tree with some foreground/background difference...this visually places the viewer at the scene...use the nat sound "now serving number 499" underneath then cut to a inside shot of the number on the board or a ticket in someone's hand...also think of what waiting means and find appropriate b-roll...never saw a second hand or watch ticking or someone asleep or drowsy...those are much better descriptive shots that denote waiting. If you can keep people in their environment when you interview or ask them questions...the interviews outside should have been done WHILE they are waiting INSIDE for better impact. Small improvements but still a ways to go. Each story be prepared for the unexpected and think, think, think out there. Good effort.

 

[ferlonjr]

Starting with three talking heads? Ouch. Boring way to start.
Why did you interview them outside, yet get most of your b-roll inside? Even with the outside SOT's, you could have just used their audio as nat sound pops throughout the piece...no real need to see them.
No need to go the the actual bill.
I heard a baby crying in the background...could have used it better as a nat pop.
Pretty good shot selection/sequencing...you shown a lot of improvement there. The fidgety foot was an especially nice shot.
The phoner SOT was long and boring...not much you could do there.
Work on opening and closing shots. Did you have people leaving or walking out the door?

Thanks for the critique! I don't know why we interviewed them outside as I think about it, I guess it was the atmosphere from the inside, kind of felt like we shouldn't but I looking back I wish we had, considering it would have been a better connection there. I agree they should have been covered with b-roll, I like when I see pkgs like that, but what do you do when the reporter wants that, and also the reporter desired to see the actual bill, so what do you do there? Just compromise or....?

Thanks for the sequencing compliment, I've been working hard at it and still trying to improve, thanks for noticing!

Yeah I hate phoner SOTs so much, and it was long and boring, I really didn't know what video to put there but just tried sequencing some things. I did have people leaving out but they weren't the best shots so I didn't use them, but I do have the problem at the moment of not getting opening and closing shots.

Thanks again and if you have anything else for me I'd gladly accept anymore critiques!

 

[ferlonjr]

Yes, Ferlon...there is some improvement here. Some small improvements. Your shots are much steadier and you are begining to look for useful concepts shots that help reporters write to video (if they write to video). Good nat sound gathering here in this piece.

But here's the other side of it all. You have to understand that the tripod is the best tool in your aresenal...but you also need to vary your height level when shooting...steady shots can come when you place your camera on the floor. The fidgety foot is a good shot...make it great by being on the same level as the foot (by placing your camera on the floor) next to the fidgety foot. And you can get closer by approaching people and making them feel comfortable with you...put your camera on the ground next to their foot and sit down and say something like "Waiting sucks, huh?"...then they see you as a person without the camera in your hands...you get the up close shot or can at least wait for it and they are not so conscience that you are hanging around them. Win-win. So work on that...height variation along with composition variation. Talking heads off the top was a boring intro...and its kinda a "mistake" to shoot your intvs outside but your story is all inside. A better intro would have been a good outside location shot of the DMV with your cam in the grass or behind a tree with some foreground/background difference...this visually places the viewer at the scene...use the nat sound "now serving number 499" underneath then cut to a inside shot of the number on the board or a ticket in someone's hand...also think of what waiting means and find appropriate b-roll...never saw a second hand or watch ticking or someone asleep or drowsy...those are much better descriptive shots that denote waiting. If you can keep people in their environment when you interview or ask them questions...the interviews outside should have been done WHILE they are waiting INSIDE for better impact. Small improvements but still a ways to go. Each story be prepared for the unexpected and think, think, think out there. Good effort.

Thanks for the critique Oscar! Man, I agree so much with you about the level of the tripod, it crossed my mind, but to be honest, I began to get lazy and did not feel like varying the height... that kicked me in the butt when I saw my shots from a story we did yesterday... i have to post it!

I never thought about really talking to people to get them comfortable, that is definitely some advice that I'll be using, because most of the time people are terrified, ahahaha! I'll be keeping this in mind!

I'll keep all your critiques in mind out there and I will continue to think, think, think, picking you guys' brains has really helped and continues to. I never thought about a lot of what you all have given me here, so it takes me to a different level everytime. More improvement will be coming and I'll continue to post my progress!

Thanks again for the critiques and advice, they are greatly appreciated and they will be used! Anything else you have let me know, I'll definitely be willing to hear! Have a good one!