A new one! Any better??

Have a new story we just shot yesterday that was actually uploaded to our website so I'm able to post. Rare for our 10 o'clock stories. I tried to shoot this one more by the books with more sequences and steady shots and whatnot. I personally think it turned out well and would like to know what y'all thought. I know I was just commended for being a rookie and leaving my stick mic in the car but I broke the rule on this one. My lav is currently down being worked on in the engineer shop and forgot to grab another as we headed an hour and a half out of town. Other than that though, anything I did better than last few packages? Worse? What could I have done better? Any critiques are much appreciated as always!

Snyder Oil Well
 

Tom Servo

Well-known member
your link made me download the video. Is that the expected behavior? Anyway, here's what I thought:

BTW I write down what I'm thinking as I'm watching it, so that's why there isn't much of a narrative critique until the end.

I like that you're concentrating on techniques like foregrounding. But mix it up a little. We had two wide shots back to back with foreground dirt in focus and the actual subject of the story blurred out in the background. This is just my style, but the first time I show you whatever the story is about, I like you to be able to see it clearly (unless, of course, I'm building up to some sort of surprise, which wasn't happening here.)

And there's a third shot with the same theme - - in focus dirt in front of blurry geyser. Video tricks like that work very well when properly applied, but when seen 3 times in short succession, start to look like the photog was throwing video tricks at the story.

Line: "And the grass?.. . " Show the grass. I saw a big truck on dirt. Get me a tight shot of the crapped out grass. Glad to see. . er. . hear, that you put a nat pop in there, though.

Check the nat at 1:19. that should have been blended better. it just kinda blats out at you.

I don't think you had a whole lot to work with here from the writing department. Your reporter is still stuck in big-word territory for one (but was unsuccessful should be "but it didn't work.")

And I suspect, since you have shots of the guy trying to cap off the well, that you have more shots of them trying to cap off the well. That should have been the story hook. Tights of the guy getting splashed in the face by the water explosion, lots of nats, get me into the scene, make me feel like I need a towel, and *then* the landowner says (while we're still watching the guy struggle to cap the well) the environmental disaster line. Then tell us what the guy's doing. And tell us why. And then show us that the capping didn't work. And THEN talk about what that's going to mean - -the environmental impact, etc. Finish off with a shot of the roaring water (nats!) and what's going to happen next ("They'll try to cap it again tomorrow, but if that doesn't work .. . ")

You're obviously not lazy. I see that you ran all over the place getting shots. And your use of sequences is good. I think it might be a bit better, though, if you didn't stick the tripod in a spot, and grab a wide and a tight, or a wide and a medium, and then go off looking for the next sequence. Instead, grab a wide and a tight from one spot, then a wide and a tight of the same subject from a different angle. Then use one shot from the first position, and one from the second to build the sequence. That way you get a bit of a different angle on your sequences so it doesn't look like you just zoomed in, but are moving around the scene, which is what an observer would be doing if he were there instead of watching it on TV.

I like the closing shot. The lone worker standing on the pile of dirt staring at the water conveyed a sense of hopelessness about the story. I wish it had been up a little longer. We're just starting to get that the guy is helpless to stop it when we're back on the reporter.

All in all, I think you did good work here, especially for entry-level. I think a lot of what I didn't like would have been vastly improved had the writing been better.
 
your link made me download the video. Is that the expected behavior?
Yes, unfortunately our website isn't up to standards in that department. Suppose to be in the process of hiring a web manager now though so hopefully that will change soon.

I like that you're concentrating on techniques like foregrounding. But mix it up a little. We had two wide shots back to back with foreground dirt in focus and the actual subject of the story blurred out in the background.
Yes, I do agree with that. I was thinking that as I was cutting it actually. I think it's mainly the fact that is a newly discovered technique for me and I'm currently obsessed with it. :eek: Definitely agree it would be more powerful if used sparsely and will keep note of that.

This is just my style, but the first time I show you whatever the story is about, I like you to be able to see it clearly (unless, of course, I'm building up to some sort of surprise, which wasn't happening here.)
My main reason for doing this was kind of focusing on the dead cactus to help get across the feel of the "environmental disaster". I can see how in the package that is technically the first shot of the oil well but since it was a look-live straight pack I counted the opening shot of the entire piece. I can agree it probably wasn't the best choice opening shot though.

And there's a third shot with the same theme - - in focus dirt in front of blurry geyser. Video tricks like that work very well when properly applied, but when seen 3 times in short succession, start to look like the photog was throwing video tricks at the story.
Agreed and noted.

I think it might be a bit better, though, if you didn't stick the tripod in a spot, and grab a wide and a tight, or a wide and a medium, and then go off looking for the next sequence. Instead, grab a wide and a tight from one spot, then a wide and a tight of the same subject from a different angle. Then use one shot from the first position, and one from the second to build the sequence.
You just blew my mind with this one! That's why I wasn't a fan of sequences: I thought they were boring because I was under the impression, probably from basic VO shooting training, that sequences were shot wide/medium/tight from the same spot. It never even occurred to me to shoot sequenced wide/medium/tights from different angles. Sounds silly, but true! Definitely will be putting this to use starting tomorrow.

I like the closing shot. The lone worker standing on the pile of dirt staring at the water conveyed a sense of hopelessness about the story. I wish it had been up a little longer. We're just starting to get that the guy is helpless to stop it when we're back on the reporter.
At the time of editing I was actually thinking I might have had it up there for too long but I really see now what you mean. But thanks for the detailed critique! Greatly appreciated and won't be put to waste I assure you. I will also pass along some of the writing tips to my reporter as well.
 

MMrozinski

Well-known member
Well you eliminated the first thing I was going to get on your for! haha... it's no sweat if you gear is down man. Make the best with what you have to work with.

I can still see how you are applying the things we have been telling you. I real pumped about that.

Good open. The stand up worked cause it was smooth and delivered well. It wasn't real creative but solid. Great opening shot and the following shot was nice as well. I can really see you have the tools with the use of tripod and framing. It's really coming together very fast. I watched you work the wide medium tights. A very solid effort at working the scene. You also messed with your depth of field on the woman’s interview and got the out of focus compressed look. I like doing that and you did well executing it. One thing... not have your wireless definitely handcuffs you a lot but at least try to hide the mic flag, but it's not that big of a deal.

Here is the biggest thing I noticed... You made a valiant effort to work the scene with W/M/T but your tights were not tight enough. And a few of your edits shared very similar focal lengths. For example, the shot at 0:54 secs to the next at 0:56 secs. With the photog eye that is a jump cut. If you continue through the story you did the same thing like 2 or 3 more times. Remember what Latin Lens told you about taking me into the action. You should of been super tight on that water spraying with the shutter on 1/250. So work on getting tighter. The wides were effective but no real tight shots... close ups but no tight shots.

Another thing was that you missed some opportunity for nat sound pops. After the open which was solid, the other nats sound pops were not smooth and were not effective. It seemed like you wanted to put one in with the truck beeps but it was cut-off... let that ride out for one extra second.

Still would like to see some more creative shot variety. You worked that scene but still need more. Some shots were very similar.

If you had your wireless I would be telling you that you should of done some mic work and you should have more creative interview shots... but you did the best with what you had.

Dude.... I'm real proud of you. I see you making strides and really committing yourself to taking our critique and putting it to action. It's a long road ahead but I can't wait to see where you are in a few months. Keep coming back here with stories... You have the right attitude to do very well. nice man... really nice.


I feel like you need an example of what I'm talking about. Here is a newer story I did on a water main break. It's not quite like your situation but I want to see the shot variety and how tight I get on things and then pull back. Also note the sequencing of action from tight to wide. The storytelling is not all that great... but it's there visually and a decent example of what I preach to you guys.



http://www.b-roll.net/tv/view_video.php?viewkey=1c595f7583ef1b74ba4c
 

MMrozinski

Well-known member
Tom gave you a very solid critique. Don't overwhelm yourself out there. Continue to stick to the basics we are suggesting and continue to add new things and attempt new things. You are going to stick to this concept for the rest of your career. Keep going round and round with every thing. Once you think your lighting is good go back to it in 4 months and take it another level. Once you think your framing is good go back to in in 4 months and make it better... loop around and around. Before you know it these things we tell you now will be an after thought out there. It will just come natural.
 

grinner

Well-known member
I think it was shot fine. No need to get artsy with it.
The editor needs to watch ausio levels and the station needs to update the graphics they built for picture safe a decade ago. I felt the hand held mic for the reporter was a bad call, whosever it was. She should have been clipped carry nothing. Overall you did a fine job but this is an example of slow pace broadcasting... the thought it's watched only on tv at a time when more watch it on the web.
 

Latin Lens

Well-known member
white_balanced....very nicely done for applying what you have learned to this story....now the application is just the first step....getting out there and trying new found techniques is a fun and lengthy process...so you just took a baby step in the right direction. I have to say the opening SU (stand up) was nicely done with good movement but I would suggest you get to wide quicker (but not too fast) or had it been worded longer it would have been better because on the wide shot we get to soak (no pun intended) in the scene before getting to the pkg...but you did good there. Nice opening shot(s) however the top two were kinda similar so try and stay clear of that...no don't need two artsy shots back to back...you got my attention with the first one...so find something new. Your nats are blending well...don't stop doing that...and I really liked the quick ones...kept the story moving...you got trigger happy on the foreground/background stuff with I can appreciate but be careful about over-doing it...its a cool shot but if you keep using it then it loses its value...you did have better sequencing in this one...you found appropriate shots that convey a message without words....the tag SU was a repeat of the intro SU so try and change it up so again its not so similar. Great job...your improvement is very noticeable...and you probably are feeling more comfortable to get the kinds of shots you know you need that make a difference....stay alert on any scene, scan for potential shots...can't wait to see more from you.
 
Top