Faster than a producer’s countdown! More powerful than a weatherman’s Corvette! Able to leap Clerk of Court countertops in a most ungraceful bound! “Look! In the conference room! It’s a Shooter! It’s a Hair-do! It’s … That Guy from the Other Station! A strange visitor from another newsroom, who came to the Golden Valley’s Upper Half-Circle with powers far beyond those of mortal one-man-bands! He can change the course of entire newscast with a single dead battery, bend KFC sporks in his bare hands, and who, disguised as a mild-mannered reporter for a medium-market TV affiliate, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and a sit-down lunch every three days or so…

 No, wait. It’s just Mac Ingraham. Dude gets winded checking his Blackberry.