Old 07-21-2015, 09:19 AM
zonatog zonatog is offline
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 122
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A Columbus mother is battling cancer and her dream was to have a back yard to entertain. While at church her friends and family gave her a surprise she wasn't expecting

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Old 09-01-2015, 05:15 PM
Latin Lens's Avatar
Latin Lens Latin Lens is offline
Ozkar Palomo
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,500
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So wow...that was a nice heart-warming story. I don't have much issue with the execution or the skill involved to get it because you did really well with it. I actually think this would have been better served with more...which I rarely say. But this story had the potential had we had two more elements. One: a little more from the people doing the work and the why they wanted to help and Two: a finished product with the family enjoying the backyard at some point after completion. We didn't get that sense WHY from volunteers or people who cared about her they why they are helping seems obvious but it was lacking that a little. I know this is news and you gotta turn and burn almost everything but had you been able to hold off and gotten the finished product and the emotion for that...it woulda been a homerun. I know we only stayed in the backyard but you needed to expand a little more. Get the house from the front and the neighborhood and use that as a little setup before getting us to the backyard and also it would have added a lot to have shot more interesting b-roll from further away. But pretty good job with it. Solid effort.
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