First things first...this is obviously NOT a natpkg...because you have a reporter voice on it. Just remember that if you say its a natpkg then its going to have a whole different presentation so becareful about that. Anyways...overall its not very good. Lots of rather boring, wallpaper type video...shots and soundbites way too long. So there's not much substance to really keep me interested. With that said...there was ample oppurtunities to get a really good story on the air here. You need to use the entire environment to get video/sound...utilize the whole space to looking for interesting shots...you stayed very close to action physically...move more....shoot through things...over things...around things...let action go in then out...find anything to help visually keep it interesting. The cool thing about this is that you had repeative action...which can allow you to get really good sequences so the editing can help appear faster than it actually is...again...another technique to keep it visually interesting. Work on getting instant reaction from people involved...one, two, three world reax bites to something they are doing, watching or just finished. That's where you can find some interesting sound to add a person's character to sprinkle throughout the piece. The more variety you have in everything the better off you'll be when you sit and edit. Too many repeat shots...find variety...ultra tight...ultra wide...but again you have to move around alot. Nice attempt. Keep working at it.