Multi-part Standup

I like the creativity you showed by putting this together. I do wonder if the story would have been better told with a simple map. To someone like me who does not know the area, the driving shots are meaningless. But if I knew the area it would probably have been more helpful.
 
Thanks! Yeah, this story was stacked right behind another one that covered the "grand opening" of the road and in that they used a lot maps. I was trying to stay away from using any graphics for this one.
 
Michael...not too shabby. I like the creative juices flowing you showed in this piece. If obviously could have been a "cheesy" way to explain what you were talking about but in this particular situation it worked. Nice job getting creative. The driving shots didn't bother me as much because I liked the visual comparison and obviously I won't understand as well because I don't know the streets of that particular town. So I won't knock you for that. Atleast you are trying. However where the story did lack was in overall approach. First off your angle is the fire station and secondary is the road that will help. So remember it's nice to setup the story with an establishing shot. You mention the fire station is on road XYZ...well then lets see a wide shot of the fire station with traffic going by...there's your nat break(s). Instead you're showing road and it gives me no perspective. Give the viewer perspective first. I tend to hate (such a harsh word) inconsistent...nats for nats sake breaks. People tend to do that with traffic stories but if you set the theme then by all means try but to just break up track and soundbite by doing a traffic nat is weak in my eyes. Put more purpose behind your edit and theme and structure a story around that and you'll notice an improvement not only in your writing but shooting and editing. Good job overall.
 
Well Done

I liked the story. Very nice job making the dry story eye candy. It was well excecuted. I like the idea of establishing with the fire station. 2 seconds of video from the running board of a moving fire truck, nat sirens, and the whoosh of a laden diesel going by. All about timing on a day of turn. Anyway good story.

The live in and out screamed for something more. Demonstrative or contextual live would have helped move the story. Even if just a reference to the giant shiny truck behind the glass. The reporter's delivery would seem suited for it since the piece carried smoothly.

Nice to see creative work from familiar ground. It's all about telling the story and you found a way to make a potentailly challenging story, especially given avoidance of maps (easy way), something worth staying with. The anchor intro didn't do you any favors either and yet the piece stood up nicely.

Cheers,

Omar
 
I liked the story. Good job of making a party to the history of dry eye. Already well excecuted. I like the idea of ​​establishing a fire station. 2 seconds of video from the running board of a moving fire truck, sirens grout, and the rustling of a cargo of oil that passes through. All times in one day on duty. However, a good story.

Residence and yelled something more. Live demonstration or context will help drive the story. Although only a reference to a monster truck behind the shiny glass. Submission of journalists seem suited for it at the time of the piece is used without problems.

Glad to see the creative work the family land. This is to tell and have found a way to make a story potentailly challenging, especially given the map to avoid (easy way), something of value together. Intro still not doing a good aid, but the pieces up, too. :)
 
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