Well Kyle...there appears to be no lack of good stories coming your way which is nice. You'll be having lots of oppurtunities to tell some good stories. While minor adjustments are being made...we need to start showing some advice from all these critiques at some point so we can tell if you are progressing...and from my point of view you still seem to be remaining stagnant. With some of the stories you have gotten so far...I have salivated at the mouth wishing I could get a story like that...thats how important it is for you to understand how much better these stories could be because this one fell short again.
First off...I could tell you're trying to establish location off the top...but its the wrong choice. The physical room itself shooting from the hallway...or even a ultrawide of the exterior of the school would have more impact. You did some nice nat/edits off the top...that was cool. Kudos there. But I have been meaning to ask you about something...why so many shots off the tripod? A whole new world opens up from the stability of it...more creative and artsy. You really need to keep the camera on the tripod so you can learn to get faster and find more artistic shots with it. The price of an off the shoulder pan isn't worth it. Nice stable shots throughout is better. Your choice of interview background was a bad choice. You apparently had a whole entire band room to work with and thats what you chose? Place your subjects in a proper setting to help with theme and fluidity and context. Lighting looked a little harsh so back it off or dim it down a hair...that helps dramatize it to give it a feel. Control the art behind shooting the story...thats your job...creative control. Interview with the student...same thing...poor choice of location and harsh lighting. Standup was a good idea...but just distracting because the kids were unruly...so understand that situation can take away from the importance of the words the reporter is saying...so have an alternative standup in case as in this insidence it ends up being too distracting.
Overall story tell was lacking...was this is last day? Why no personal interaction with the students as the come and go? Thats what this story needed to help add the impact of his teaching flavor. Without that it becomes very plain and unimaginative. Overall...this fell short on me again...poor storytelling...poor execution (only because this story had sooooo much potential, its unfair to think about that)...no real quality ending...you need to start tweaking or atleast attempt to tweak some things so we can see how you are responding to this. good luck on the next one Kyle.
