This was brought up in another one of these franchise pieces from your station (I don't remember if you shot it or not).
You're off a bit with the reporters cadence, the rythym of the piece. This is more an editing critique than a shooting critique.
I agree with "Bluffton", it was just a bit too fast, I would have liked to see the shots have an extra breath.
I'll make a guess here, but you were probably pressed for time, meaning the total run time of the piece and you had a lot of good shots and sequences. So you wanted to make sure they all got in there. It's a good feeling when you get all your shots in there, but sometimes if they are forced, it can take away from the flow of a story.
I believe "Nino" said it in an earlier thread, if you have time, watch a story with the volume turned down and see how the pictures flow. If they seem too quick, chances are they will be that way to the viewer even with sound. I've done it and wondered why I was editing at such a fast pace.
Of course sometimes it will be a quick paced story that approach wont work for. But in general I think it's a good technique.
We often get so involved with a piece in the edit bay that we lose sight of the overall flow. It can be painful, but sometimes you have to leave that great shot, sequence on the edit room floor for the sake of the story.
Overall it's a nice story, just a bit too fast paced for me on this one.