Girl Scout Races (Correct)

S

satpimp

Well-known member
Very nice

I liked it very much! Day of? Even if you've never been to one, you caught viewers and took them right there. Fun place, Sweet! My kids loved the "derby"

Omar
 
BryantVW

BryantVW

Member
Pretty good - how long have you been in the business?

I don't think you used your mic too much at all. If anything I think you could have done it more. Stick a mic on a girl and walk away... let her forget she's wearing it... and capture all of her emotion. She worked for months on this little car, not to mention she's like 8. She's got to be antsy with excitement, talking to her friends and getting anxious for her car to race. Use those natsots to add more flavor to the piece. Give me some more emotions

There were a few shots that I think lasted a little too long. There's a LOT of things going on in that room... show me some more! Girls faces, people loading the cars up... hell I wanted to even see HOW the cars get propelled. We kind of saw in that one shot but I want to see someone push a button or flip a switch. That's another action-reaction opportunity. Actually it could be a double whammy. Action of pushing a button - reaction of car taking off- reaction of girls face "wow!"

Your ending shots were the weakest part of the story. I understand you wanted to capture the winner, and that's fine. It brings the whole story together. But I want to see WHO is announcing. Maybe before they announce, have them tell YOU who is going to win. Get a quick shot of the announcer at the mic talking, then get over and get a closeup of the future winner. Remember... this is a tense time in these little girls lives. All their hard work over the past 2 months leads up to this moment. Show me some girls jumping up and down with nervousness, or wide eyed waiting for the results.

I'm not sure how you could have ended that piece but that last shot was very boring. And it was the only shot you dissolved to which made me think you had no other way to get out of a jump cut. Show her getting her trophy, then people clapping, then back to her smiling. And for your final shot, maybe just get a super high and wide shot. Show everything in the room.

Good quality nat pops, clean audio, and definitely some good sequences in there. Nice piece
 
Latin Lens

Latin Lens

Well-known member
MaskedRider83....I can tell you are attempting some new techniques...which is good. And I think you're going about your development the right way...nice and slow. I think you're begining to recognize a sequence but don't confuse that with recognizing THE sequence which is something and sometimes a little more in-depth. I will say you had an oppurtunity when you gonna interview the girl who got scared by the CO2 noise...that's a natsot to help explain the power of the CO2 had you got some more sots on that particular topic...thats a golden moment you need to take advantage of for better impact...knowing how and when and where to place within the confines of your story. You need to have a better approach and again the the storytelling will come in time...because you need to have a either use the speed to your advantage or go the opposite...slow it down so we get a better view to be sucked in. If you go fast...then edit fast...use your nat sound of "Wows", "cool"..."that's fast" with other sequential shooting like the annoucement of the time to signify speed...or go slow....longer shots of the cars coming at us so we see it in perspective and a longer shot gives us time to compute what the fast action is....but thats a style preference. I think working on your nat blending is still needed...learning to craft a better story is needed...finding better shots by utilizing your entire surroundings to bring us to the action is still needed...but it takes time and effort. Keep trying. I like what you're doing...you're on your way but its gonna take time.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top