Critique This: OMB (Take 2)

[Smitty]

PLEASE !?!?

Here's the link:

http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/12131876.html

You can also view the story in the large VOD player in the right hand corner. Simply scroll across the bottom pics toward the right until you see "Tri-State Backroads: Following Father's Footsteps".

Thanks in advance for taking the time to watch.. I look forward to some constructive criticism!!!

[Rad]

Liked the "story", good bites, good sound, a nice comfortable sit on the couch and watch piece. I think the beginning is a little choppy, I think there are places you could tighten up the edits, it feels like we are waiting for the nat pops at the track breaks. Lots of good wide shots, loved the outside looking in at the daughter shot, and the wide through the door frame shot. It's a good story... but you know that. Thanks for asking me to watch it.

[redcoat]

I particularly liked how in depth the subject was covered. I especially noticed the cutaway shot of the doorknob that was specifically garnered from listening to one of the sound bytes. That attention to detail was impressive.

[svp]

I thought it was very good. Much better than most stories you see on local newscast in a given night. It seems like you were working with a good reporter than understands good photography. Its very hard to turn something like that with an average reporter. Glad to see your station lets you have a little extra time to tell a good story like that instead of being cemented in the 1:15 time frame. Good Job.

UPDATE: My apologies, once I started watching the story I completely forgot the fact that this was OMB. It was 3am when I posted this so cut me a little slack. Great job all around though.

[mkay]

It seems like you were working with a good reporter than understands good photography. Its very hard to turn something like that with an average reporter.

OMB= One Man Band. Congratulate Smitty 'the reporter' as well as Smitty 'the shooter' as well ;)

Very nice work!!!

[Freddie Mercury]

I can tell you worked hard on this one, and spent a long time in there. You had an abundance of shots and a pretty good mixture of close, medium, wide. I think every shot was on the tripod, unless the harmonica man was not. Very steady.

I was a little concerned about the light and how blue it came out, and also how deep some of your shadows got. The shadows were probably a calculated tradeoff for keeping the setting clean of tools. Also some of your composition needed to cut out dead space in the frame.

The people in the story seemed to be playing to you and your camera rather than acting naturally, and I think that was what held the story back for me. Even when the harmonica man was playing, the guy in the chair was talking to you, not to him.

The opening shot was effectively a soundbite, though more interestingly composed than most. Maybe a nat sound sequence of snipping, door opening, cash register, conversation between customer and barber, chair being adjusted, grabbing a pair of scissors, starting up the buzzer, something where we can be drawn into this new environment before someone is immediately talking to me.

I won't harp on any more technicalities. There was a lot good here. You were careful to listen for your sots and have the shots to support them. The harmonica added a lot and you used it well. The photo of dad was fairly touching, and I liked that the last shot was of the open sign, mainly because so often a closing shot gets really literal and we see it being flipped to "closed".

This was a nice story that people will remember long after they forgot about the crackhead shooting another crackhead story. I'm glad some stations still do them.

[REGION 4 BUM]

smitty>> you really wanna know what i think or do you want props for pretty pictures and having the balls to track something? : )

[way kool productions]

I really liked the story, and agree with everone, I do have a couple of thoughts.
I would have liked to see the daughter in the story earilier, as it stands now she justs pops in.... I would also like to rap up the story with Olie, maybe a shot of him and his harp, and/or a quick sound bite. As it stands if you come in on the middle of the story, you have no idea who is playing the harp. The first time I watched the story is was distrasted by someone in my bay, and I thought the story was about Olie, and wondered why I never saw him again. So even if the story is not about him, you started so stroung with him that you almost have to end with seeing him at the end, kind of like book ends........But still a great story

[Shooter in the Ville]

Good work! Only criticism I have is the interview shot you used with Ollie I believe. While creative, he was so far in the background I could not tell if he was the one talking or not. Sorry if that is nit picking but other than that I enjoyed the story.

[svp]

Be careful, MR might claim you as one of his successful VJ's!!! I wouldn't be surprised if you story ended up on one of MR's VJ promotional tapes.

[Corporate Management]

Excellent stuff, and I happened to like the quick cuts at the beginning. The only thing I didn't particularly care for was the picture with the light reflection on it, but that's a niggling thing.

A few unrelated observations:

You station's website is terrible!

What the hell's an "e-reporter"?

One good thing I noticed while perusing the site: your station has some nice-looking women, but what really puts it over the top is that you have an anchor named Bill Murray.

[NEWSSHOOTER3]

Nice Job, Smitty! You have a nack for finding wonderful flavor and you convey it well! Keep it up!

[Smitty]

So many responses, thanks to all! I appreciate everyone's feedback. I'm a firm believer there is always room for improvement before the next story.

Follow ups:
I'm a photojournalist. Sometimes, I one-man-band feature stories. I'm not a VJ, sorry MR. I agree about the website. It's a corporate thing, I guess. E-reporter? I think it's a way to get viewers involved by e-mailing pictures (or video) of breaking news, severe weather, whatever.. It's OK to joke about his name, but Bill Murray is our best storyteller in house. He is a veteran reporter who also anchors the 5 o'clock newscast. More importantly, Bill is the one who I seek out for advice, suggestions and final script approval. He's a great resource! I forgot to mention, when we're out in the field, he always pays for lunch!! That's awesome!

[Tdomi74]

Smitty:
Compared to your first story that I saw you've come a long way already. Unlike Richard, I didn't mind the opening, admit it thats what you pick up from Fox 8 for the 6 months that you where here. The reason I like this story was not only techically was it clean but the copy wasn't intrusive. Basically you went and shot a nats sound piece that need a couple of transitional lines to get you from on bite to the next. The only thing I can get on you about was choice of your closing shot. I might have done something different with that but over all it was a terrible visual close. Fox 8 has a reporter opening want to come back to GHP?